I can't stand how tired I've been looking recently. Too much has happened in too short a span of time and I've just been forcing myself to press on because if I don't, everything's gonna come crumbling down for me and I absolutely do not want that.
Went out this morning to run errands yet again, uGH.
I honestly can't wait for poly to start already because lately, I feel like I've been living a life dictated by others rather than a life that I can call my own. I wanna get out of the house feeling like I have a real purpose once again. I gotta admit though, that part of me is reluctant to start poly life because having to make friends all over again can get pretty overwhelming. Nevertheless, I'll try my best to socialize, hahah.
Oh, and I saw a particular someone in my neighbourhood earlier today. It was a total "what the hell" moment for me because even in my area, she appears, lol. But I got over it soon enough, it was just not the most pleasant of sights to start off my day, that's all.
Finally continued reading paper towns and fell asleep after reading around 4-5 chapters cause I'm always easily tired out on the first day of my monthly nature call.
Whipped up a bowl of four cheeses pasta for dindinz after I woke up from my 2-hour nap. It tasted pretty decent but it was just a little too cheesy (literally). But okay la, not bad la for someone who sux at cooking,
hahahahaha. I should improve on my cooking this year (oh look, another resolution for the year 2014).
Swept and mopped the floor afterwards and I'm super tired because it's such back-breaking work, gAH. Xuan coincidentally gave me a call once I was done with the household chores and it felt nice that he was checking up on me and all but it should've been the other way around since he's currently unwell, meh. Well, we talked and somewhere in between, I had somewhat of a fit/emotional breakdown but it didn't last as long as it would have in the past. Wept abit and soon, I'm back on my feet! Try'na implement that course of action from now on so that I won't waste as much time as before, moping around about my life but there will definitely be those few days that I'll get completely knocked down so yeah. I guess I kinda lost control of my emotions back there because of what's been happening lately. Like I said, it was all so sudden and unforeseen that I don't have enough time to react accordingly. Despite that, I've gotta carry on with life no matter how sucky or shitty it becomes.
another self reminder:
((it just dawned upon me how applicable the following has been in my life /sigh/))
Straight up, now tell me do you really want to love me forever? Or is it just a hit and run?
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