It's like a drop in the ocean, a change in the weather.

I wish someone would tell me all this, someone who really cares and is actually magnanimous enough to overlook my flaws and pick out those few but rare good points of mine (if I even have them lol).
Guess it's another one of those nights whereby I really think, deep.
I miss being a kid, I really do because I know back then, those smiles weren't fake. I don't even have to try faking one because all of them were true, sincere ones. But now, it's so hard to be truly happy. Even if you are, there's bound to be something that knocks you back down because for some reason, life can't seem to stand seeing you happy and idek why. It's as though this bitch (life) wants to pick up a fight with us. Hahahais, oh well, what to do. #whatsnew la eh?
Right now, it's like I'm all alone. The sad thing is, when you were a kid, you used to think everyone would be there for you no matter what shit comes your way. It sucks to have to find out upon growing up, that at the end of the day, nobody and I repeat, NOBODY, is gonna be there for you till the end. It's just you, yourself and nobody else. I could be wrong but then again, I could be right.
Well, in my case, so far, I haven't found anybody who is entirely willing to go through shit with me in my life. Hmm, maybe I already have but I'm just too 'blind' to see. Curse this cruel reality. Even my own family members aren't trustworthy. It's a dog eats dog world, even in my own home which I ain't even proud or daring enough to call 'home'. It's not even much of a family or rather, bear no resemblance whatsoever at all.
I'm scared to live here already for it seems as though I'm a prisoner who's having her every move watched over and controlled. It's frightening/terrifying/horrifying; it's just plain scary. I don't like scary. Who likes scary? Do you? I believe no one does, right?
Basically, I can't trust anyone in this household anymore and I'm not even kidding. Everyone's turning against me, one by one for idek what personal benefits. I don't understand how humanity changed to turn out to be this cold/heartless/ruthless. What's worse is that....I'm part of humanity itself. I don't like the mere idea of it.
I'm just complicating matters aren't I? Overthinking this shit is what I do best, apart from procrastinating hahahaissssssss. No, but seriously, I believe I'm not the only one who feels this way right?
If I am then wow..............I'm such a  l o s e r. Dayummmmm.
But then again, that's life; you win some, you lose some.
The irony is that.............I'm losing wayyyy more than what I win.








That's just saddening/depressing/discouraging.