And I don't want the world to see me cause I don't think that they'd understand.

I wanted to embed the video but I was lazy so click here if you wish <:

So, I've recently started watching Rivera Yasmin's video tags and well, I dunno ;\

She seems like a really nice person but still, she does give off a minah-ish feel. But that doesn't mean she's not a great person! I believe she is, it's just that she should refrain from spouting vulgarities here and there ONLINE. Cause people may think badly of her if she does. I like her "fear no bitch" kind of attitude though. At least, she bothers standing up for herself and tries to help others by reaching out to them through her video tags on Youtube. Thanks for the advices girl :-) Will try to instill that kind of 'ideal' mindset in me.

On a side note, today's papers pretty much sucked for me. I was pretty much looking forward to writing a narrative but it turned out to be argumentatives all the way. I hoped for speech to come out but it turned out to be a formal letter instead. I was seriously going "asdfghjkl" inside. So frustrating when nothing goes your way seriously.

EGeog also sucked. Sighs, with abit of luck or rather, alot of it, I believe I'll be able to pass but I don't think it's gonna be the B3 I'm hoping for. Nevertheless, if Allah decides to surprise me with even a 60, I'll be really thankful and I'll immediately do solat syukur, #promise. Ya Allah, tolong kabulkan lah doa hambaMu, saya amat ingin mendapat markah yang diharapkan itu. Saya tidak mahu mengecilkan hati ibuku :-( Tolonglah Ya Allah, saya amat serius kali ini. Saya amat serious tentang pelajaran, solat, agama dan keluarga saya mulai hari itu apabila nenek meninggal. Ia bagaikan "reality check" untuk saya. Tolonglah, Ya Allah? :((

Checked outlook and I was shocked to see Koo Li Enn's voice recording in my email. HAHA. She's really punctual when it comes to these kind of things horh? Have you done your speech asgt then Ms Koo? HAHA.

It sounds pretty good btw Li Enn! Well done! :-)

Ok, shall do comprehensions and look through karangans now till my mum comes home. After that, it's art all the wayyyy~

Herp derp.

Just spent a long day with my cousins and it has been pretty great :-)
Ate lunch with them at Mr Teh Tarik, studied abit of Nat Veg and memorized some info! Watched a couple of drake and josh episodes and snippets. Finally, watched 3/4 of Rush Hour 3 with them and a teeny bit of The Pink Panther :-) sadly, Akip and Riyadh missed the movie session cause they were fast asleep like babies ;3 QTPIEZ.


;I cannot believe I let that happen. What's wrong with me. I feel so grossed out with myself. I feel so asdfghjkl guilty. Wtf is going on;

Inalillahi wa inalillahi ra'jiun

إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُوْنَ، اَللَّهُمَّ أُجُرْنِيْ فِيْ مُصِيْبَتِيْ وَأَخْلِفْ لِيْ خَيْرًا مِنْهَا.
"Sesungguhnya kami milik Allah dan kepadaNya kami akan kembali (di hari Kiamat). Ya Allah! Berilah pahala kepadaku dan gantilah untukku dengan yang lebih baik (dari musibahku)."


Credits: here


Well, it's been 4 days since nenek passed away and I still miss her so much. I wonder how she is doing now. I really wish she was still around though I can still feel her presence from time to time. Maybe it's just me but I believe I wasn't just imagining things. Been trying my best to hide my sadness from everyone while in school and it looks like I've carried on this pretense pretty well. I've got everyone fooled. They all probably think I got over nenek's passing within such a short time when truth to be told, I'm just suppressing all my feelings. It's prrobably because I'm used to faking smiles therefore, it's kind of a piece of cake this time round as well.
Trying my best not to neglect my prayers anymore. Praying is like a form of communication with nenek so that shall be my source of motivation :-) To all my cousins, stay strong please. We can do this, together, alright? <3
I love you all so much. Let's give it our best shot for MYEs and make our families and nenek proud!


I've got to stop here for now as it's already past midnight. 
Goodnight world and to those who are having their MYEs, good luck <333

Fighting till the war's won.

Well, almost done with revising the EGeog chapter on Rivers :-)
At least I did something tonight!
Chem tuition was a h2h talk 3/4 of the time hahaha. Shall listen to Amanda's advice and just strive on no matter what. I can do this.
I really hope to at least make myself and my parents proud in some subjects like English, Malay, Lit and EGeog at least?
I need to have some reassurance in some subjects. Please let me get at least a B3 for all the subjects I've mentioned above. Please? ;(

What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger everytime.

"They say that I'm dangerous, like everything I touch, it falls apart."

Amaciammmmmm? Can pass off as a hot bung again anot? 8-)

HAHA, I was lazy to let my hair down cause I didn't want any strands of hair getting in the way while I did my work just now. Well, let's see how my today went, shall we?

• Woke up at 8:45am and bathed till about 9am.
•  Ate half of my breakfast and did part of HML kefahaman till my tuition teacher came at about 10am.
• Had Emath tuition till 11:30am.
• Lazed around till about 12 plus and eventually took a nap till 2:15pm.
• Prayed jemaah' with my mum but I had to re-do my prayers cause I messed up nearing the end of it cause I was just so damn, bloody tired.
• Proposed to start on my art pieces but realised that I'd yet to buy to suitable drawing papers.
• Called my dad to come home quick and I soon went out of the house with my parents at around 3pm?
• Headed to Art Friend at Bras Basah and shopped for watercolour-suitable drawing papers, sketch papers and a good eraser (lol).
• Rushed to NLB to borrow a few art books to help me in throughout my process of completing them art prep boards. (Borrowed 4 books btw)
• Processed and printed the photos I needed for art as well as some 'extra' ones. Heh. (Spent $2.50 on it!!)
• Drove to the masjid near Vivocity and prayed Asar there.
• Went to Vivocity after that and ate dinner at Banquet.
• Walked to Giant and bought some groceries and household items.
• Afterwards, I went home (but not until I walked to the car, accidentally dropped a plastic bag of groceries and spent some time recovering the kiwis that rolled under the car) ;_;
• Reached my block and realised that while one of the 2 lifts was being upgraded, the other one FREAKING BROKE DOWN AND I HAD TO CLIMB 22 FLIGHTS OF STAIRS TO GET TO MY HOUSE CAUSE I LIVE ONE THE 11TH FLOOR AND EACH FLOOR TAKES 2 FLIGHTS OF STAIRS TO CLIMB. URGH URGH URGH.
• When I eventually got home, I prayed Maghrib and finished up my kefahaman and ringkasan.
• Now, I'm supposed to be completing my karangan but I decided to put that aside for awhile so that I can update my blog. Heh <:
• Planning to finish karangan by 11pm, LATEST. (I SWEAR)
• And hope to get started on abit of my art prep boards before I sleep.

OKCAN, #leggo BRUH. 

I will survive.

Before I start ranting about/complimenting today, let me take this time to wish 2 of my friends ((:

Hi Yusri,
you're seriously annoying like hell and sick in the mind but nevertheless, you're still a friend of mine. Today's your 8th monthsary eh? I remember when it was just last month that you and your gf celebrated your 7th monthsary. How time flies man. Anyways, I wish you guys all the best and hope that you will last for as long as possible. I've never seen you this happy before and I believe you've got a good 'catch' this time round so don't let her go and don't you dare play her alright!

Hi Andry!!!
My dearest, "Draw Something", "Path", "Twitter" and "FB" friend, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! <3
You're a really nice and sensitive guy, in a good way. :-)
I know you got played by someone lately but I just want you to know that you're amazing just the way you are. Don't let her make you feel unworthy ok? She's blind not to see the goodness in you; her loss.
You're always really emo so please cheer up and stay happy aite!! I know you can do it! Jiayou jiayou!
Talk sometime soon okay? I miss talking to you, alot :-( Well, hope you had a great birthday! xx.

Well, all of a sudden, I decided not to continue with my initial plan of talking about today. Sorreh.

Lastly, hi Amalthea, cheer up and chin up "Shuai Ge"!! <3
And hi "husband", let's not anything easily come btw us okay? We both need to keep our feelings in check. We can do this. Jiayou to both of us :-)

9Gag, bless you my "child"

Spent about half an hour scrolling through 9Gag's website, sometime between 7:30 - 8pm. It really did help to relieve some of my stress by seeing all the lame, smartass jokes as well as some innovative thoughts.

Here's one I'd like to share.
Click here!

Needa' get this in my head.

@Retwittings tweeted,

"#A are better than who they think they are."

It's about time I started thinking better of myself, eh? Dayum.

Me be craving for?

Got this from the photo that Teevee shared on fb just now. 

It pretty much fascinates me.

This would pretty much mean I may be feeling "anxious" at this very moment.

Quite shocked I'm not craving for salty foods though cause I definitely am stressing out rn.

It'll all work out in the end.

Posting from my iPhone here btw.
Well, I initially didn't intend to update my blog for today but since Teevee pestered me to, I decided to post a short update in the end which would explain why you're getting to read this now, dear reader (whoever you are) .
Today has been another lamely, funny day with the usual people I tend to hang out with nowadays, mmhmm. Lit test was pretty demoralizing because the poem was really hard to make heads and tails out of it. But nevertheless, I am certain I gave my all and to me, that's what matters. Emath and English tests are up next; tomorrow actually.
For some reason, I'm not really freaking out for Emath but rather, for English. (Something is seriously wrong here considering the fact that I suck balls at math. Oh well.) I still hope to get at least a B3 for tmr's Emath test or worst comes to worst, a B4.
But my mum always tells me to aim high so that even if my results fall short of my goal, it won't fall too much. Therefore, I've never expected myself to say this before but Imma' aim for an.......A1? Therefore, even if i fall short, I'll drop to a B3 or so :D
Omg, this totally sounds so weird especially when it's coming from someone like me T_T. Sighs, but it's about time I started believing in myself, right? Right. I shall trust myself once more, I know I'm able to do this.
I CAN DO THIS.
Currently revising argumentative writing rn but I'm heading to bed real soon after a few rounds of Scramble Free. I swear that game is like my stress reliever man.
Watched Anak Metropolitan just now and that too, is like a source of comfort for me; to get away from all the stress temporarily. I love that show man but I must admit, it's kind of funny hearing people call themselves "gua". I was trying my best not to laugh during those parts.
Well, I better stop here for tonight. Good night and have a good rest everybody :-)
Teevee, if you're reading this, TOLD YA I UPDATE MY BLOG.
As for you Amalthea, is this post considered "long" enough? HAHAHAHA. :P

And I know that I'm drunk but I'll say the words. And she'll listen this time even though their slurred.

"They all think I'm crazy but to me, it's perfect sense."

I've been loving this song for a long time now but keep forgetting to express my utmost love and appreciation for it. Well, now that I've remembered, erm, well, okay, technically nothing really happens. Lol. So yeah, basically, I've loved every song of The Script. It's just impossible not to love them. They're like lyrical geniuses whom I've come to love and adore. Forever a fan of theirs, confirm chop. Thanks for existing The Script cause without your music, I don't know how I'll survive each day. I love you guyssssss <3 If only you knew this fan of yours actually existed, hurhur :(

"The more you hate a person, the more you stalk then, think of them and you LET them consume your thoughts..
Pretty stupid right? So stop thinking about those people you hate and start thinking of all the amazing people that make your life worth living."

So yes, today I found out that people like Hiddayah, Amalthea and Caroline actually read my blog and watch my vlogs. Sighs, embarrassing ttm ;_________; Yes, by putting it up online is like meant for the whole world to see but I never expected them to actually be one of those crazy few who would actually bother to watch my abit fail vlogs. But nevertheless, thank you? HAHA for actually bothering to waste a few mins of your life watching them :-) They all say I got accent!! OMG I SRSLY DUNNO OKAY. However, it really is my normal speaking voice! (Does that even make sense? LOL)
Today was another crazy day with Amalthea, Nadhira and Hiddayah. We're forever crapping tgt nowadays mannnnnn. Had a really epic time during the CPR course cause Caroline was being so funny and Laurin was being so slengerrrrrrrr. HAHHHAHAA, she damn cute I swear. Nadhira and me were thinking sick thoughts the whole time. We like got telepathy ah bro? (; Amaciammmmmmmmm.

HAHAHAAHAHHAHAHA okay, I don't really have anything else to say so, yeppp.



Looks like you've moved on, good for you. :)

I Smile, U Smile.

Click here! (for something so ah-mazing, lol)

See the link btw the title of this post and the picture above? Well, if you still can't get it, then...........I have no comment, literally. And for some reason, I'm getting this blurry memory that "I Smile, U Smile" has something to do with Justin Bieber. BUT, I am NOT a Belieber okay, not at all. I look kind of boyish in this photo collage but s'ok, I've been looking like a hot bung lately so deal with it 8)

Something else I forgot to add in my vlog (refers to the link up there), is that I had so much fun LOL-ing with Teevee, Yui Fei and Wei Wen during Lit and laughing some more with Teevee during EGeog. My husband and I are DETERMINED to do far much better in the upcoming MYEs compared to the past 2 years. We know we can do it; we just have to put our minds to it.
That however, is easier said than done.

Nonetheless, we're still willing to try. You'll never know the outcome till you try it right? :-)

Moving on isn't as hard as I thought it would be. I'm much happier now, really.
Syukur Alhamdulillah, <3

If you're in need of a laugh...........

Click here! :D

Keep This In Mind.

dope

Where do we go from here?

"L, is for the way you look at me, O, is for the only one I see,
V, is very very, extraordinary, E is even more than anyone you can adore"

"Next time you're stressed, take a step back, inhale and laugh. Be strong, love yourself, and love others."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

AHAHAHAHHA I CAN'T EVEN.

*Twinkle Twinkle Little Star*

Had dinner, went for a late-night drink by the beach and finally, reached home. What a great night this has been :-) <3

Unglamness at its best.

Reached home, got bored, played with Oreo and then, yeppp.

You try to smile it away. Some things, you can't disguise.

Amaciam, can pass of as a guy anot? 8) heehee.

Well, I've officially given up on you. I'm sick and tired of wasting my breath on you when you just don't listen. So yeah, cheers to the past that we had together. Let's hope our future won't turn out as badly.

There's just so much you can take.

"The day I, first met you, you told me, never fall in love."

I feel like slightly perming my hair lul. I'm starting to like the kind of like wavy hairstyles that all those pretty girls have. Hmm, can I have their hairstyle too please? Nope, it's not because I want to be like them but more of my own preference and liking. I ain't a follower, hell no.

Listened to "Bad Enough For You" and "I Feel Like Dancing" by All Time Low and I'm starting to like them but they're still not good enough to be my all-time faves but they're still really good! :-) I'm like totally spazzing over these 2 songssssssss homg. Demi Lovato's "Give Your Heart A Break" is the one stuck on replay though. I can't take it; it's just too good. I swear I love her and am starting to look up to her as a role model. Despite all the shit she has been put through in her life, she still manages to get back up on her feet in the end. Utmost respect for this woman please, mmhmm. #nuffsaid

Was busy deleting alot of unnecessary and unwanted pictures from my tpc and during that period of time, I came across the screenshot of the fb post you posted on my wall a few months back specifically on 31st of December, 2011. Everytime I look at that photo, it makes me think twice. I really don't know what you're up to. All that I'm sure of is that fuck yes, I miss you. I miss you a hella' lot. But, do I even mean shit to you at all? It's like I'm nothing. It's like I'm not worthy of you. I wish I was though. I wish you'd pick me. I wish you were truthful to yourself. I wish..........that this has all been just a horrible nightmare and everything would go back to the way it was when I wake up the next day.

Sadly, I've been wrong. This is the harsh reality of life.

Today sucked, alot.