I'm sorry.

Looked horrible today, Natasha looks pretty and nice though! (:

So, yeah, anyways God knows how many of my teachers came to tell me today, "Hey, you look really tired. Are you alright?"

And only God knows how much I wanted to reply, "Yes, I'm really tired; physically, emotionally and mentally. And no, I'm not alright; not at all."

I'm not alright, I'm torn. Torn between friends, family, studies, feelings but mostly what my mind and heart is telling me respectively. I don't know what to do and how to help myself. All I know is that I've been happier recently thanks to you and I don't want you to leave my life. Idk what I feel and idk what you feel. I just knw that I feel so darn happy talking to you, just a single 'text' from you can make my day. Better yet, just the thought of you already does. But, it just doesn't feel right in the sense that why the fvk are things going so fast? It's like it can't be helped. I'm scared, I really am. 

I feel as though I'm not supposed to be feeling this way cause I feel like I'm doing someone injustice because you belonged to that someone once upon a time and I bet you're still emotionally and mentally taken by her.

Idk wts is wrong with me. Things have not been going right for me ever since I got back from UK. I was hurt in so many ways, played, scolded, embarrassed, shouted at, verbally abused, mentally and emotionally tortured and idek anymore. All I knw is that.....talking to you makes me happy; you make me happy.

Idk what I am towards you and I'm afraid to know; afraid that it's not in my favour.

All I'm sure of is that I care alot and I don't like seeing you upset.

If only God forbade me from having feelings, maybe life would be so much less complicated because my feelings always get the better of me, always; to the point whereby I don't know whether whatever I'm doing and whatever decision I'm making is right or wrong anymore...