So chill out, whatcha worried about?

Tbh, I'm not sure what to talk about in this post. I'll just type whatever comes to mind then.

So anyways, the past week has been an emotionally eventful one (but not in the good way, sadly).

Everything's just been going downhill since Thursday, 25/10/2012, to be exact. PTM/PTC was the worst one I've ever been to in the history of my entire schooling life so far. I can't even begin to describe how fucked up it was. Imagine having your bad points thrown at you one after another and you try to stand up for yourself but in the end, you just decide to stfu and sit there in silence because you just simply give up as to what people want to think and/or say about you. You know you're better than what they say but like I said, you just end up giving up. You're too hurt to speak or even cry. You're just numb. And when you're actually upset, somehow, people see it as though you're portraying anger and hatred but no, they're wrong. But, you give up on correcting that point as well cause you're just tired and tbh, you really couldn't care less anymore.

I'm being treated like a prisoner rn in this household. Even more restrictions are being set up and I swear it fucking sucks. Idk how to feel or how to react. I try to not let it affect me but at the end of the day, I'm only human. I can't pretend like idgaf at all. As strong as the brave front I seem to put on, I end up crying like a sore fuck like what I'm doing rn as I'm typing this post. As to why I' m crying, it's because my dad decided to find fault with me yet again just a few minutes ago. I swear everything's just so messed up for me. I can't stand pretending that everything's alright in front of others when in reality, nothing is fine; none at all. 

This was initially meant to be a happy post actually. But after what happened, I can't help but steer this post in an emo direction. I'm sorry I failed to be happy yet again. Because everytime I actually succeed in cheering myself up, I end up getting hit back to rock bottom. I can never stay happy for long cause something is bound to fuck things up for me.

Btw, I apologize for the excessive use of  'f' words in this post. I rarely use much of it in my blog posts except for once in awhile when I'm really upset/hurt/pissed off/disappointed, etc. So, give me a break, aye?