Hypophrenia - A feeling of sadness seemingly without a cause

This sooooo totally happened to me yesterday. I was feeling fucking upset to the point whereby I cried every few minutes, even in PUBLIC. While I was walking, I cried. While I was trying to sleep, I cried. While I was trying not to cry, I STILL cry. #whatisthisseriously

Before I continue, I would like to copy & paste this status I came across on fb:

‎'Live simply, and others can simply live'.
And the man who counts every single blessing with gratitude is the richest man in the world.

K so where was I anyways? Oh yeah, I found out 2 days ago that my maid is gonna return to Indonesia this coming Wednesday which is the 30th of November. The irony is that I cried on the second day of knowing that bit of information o.o #awkward. Yeah, so I cried my fucking heart out more than 10 times yesterday? I doa-ed to Allah, asking him whether he can make time pass by slower than normal, just for once because I don't want 30/11/2011 to come so fast. I want to spend as much time as possible with bibik <3 She's really like my #bff in this household. Without her, I think I'm gonna turn back to being the lonely kid I once was. I can always be myself around her; ALWAYS. Yes, we fought alot of times BUT we come out stronger in the end, together :') She knows ALL my problems and has always been there for me come rain or shine. I love her to the ends of this earth, I'm not sure if she knows that though :\ Honestly, I don't want her to go. Call me selfish or whatever but it's because I love her too much to be able to let her go. Am I being ridiculously stupid and childish? ): She deserves to see her daughter and family members again after 2 years but the thing is, I won't see her anymore. I've been trying to persuade her to come back and work for my family again after the next 2 years but it seems my appeal is unsuccessful :'( Oh bibik, please please please? >: I don't care ok. You better not forget me. You better make long-distance calls to me and frequently sms me ; keep me updated about your life so I'll feel as though I'm not being forgotten by you. Please do me this favour, please. I'm very lucky to have you bibik, really. I still rmb the first time we met, I honestly thought, "HELL NO, I will never be able to get along with such an emo kia." Ok, maybe those were not my actual words in thought but I had some kind of similar emotion to that. But look at where we are now, how far we've come from to be like this two idiots who are undescribably close and love each other <333 It's not being lesbian btw (for those who are ignorant and reading this.) This is called treasuring the one you care for and love alot. Bibik, if you create a facebook/twitter acc, YOU BETTER ADD ME UP OK. I MEAN IT.
I have so much more to say but I best be stopping after these last few words of mine to you:
I LOVE YOU AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON'T EVER EVER EVER FORGET ME <333

Cause some days stay gold forever

Having a rough day? Place your hand over your heart. Feel that? That's called purpose. You're alive for a reason.


You are:
[] Good looking but not my type!
[] gangster
[] Nerd
[x] Okayokay
[] Hot/fit!
[x] Cute

If you text me "i miss you" :
[x] you won't even text so.
[] awww, i miss you too. ♥
[] who the hell are you

If you ask me for a relationship:
[x] Nah, you wont ask
[] Consider
[x] No
[] Yes. ♥
[] ALREADYY MINE ♥

If you fell down:
[] Oh no, you okay? :(
[] Help you up.
[] Watch you and just stand there doing nothing.
[] SERVER YOU RIGHT TROLL
[x] HAHAHAH HOW YOU FALL SIA? *help you up*

If you gave me roses for valentine:
[] Aww, how sweet of you. ♥
[] Thank you, how sweet. ;)
[] Throw them away in the nearest rubbish bin.
[] Step them and crush it on the floor.
[x] you won't even give.
[x] Sorry but I won't accept. :3

If you text me:
[] IGNORE
[] I'll reply if it's important
[x] I WILL OBVIOUSLY REPLY YOU :D

I want you to:
[x] Try to talk more
[x] Post this as your status too :)


So, the above is what afiq posted on my wall on november 14th after i liked his status. i was kinda upset at the results tbh :\
But tday, he called me SO CUTE <3 fuck yes, he even smiled at me and laughed at my jokes during madrasah tday :') i swear today is one of the best days ever. Thank you Allah <3 <3 <3

We're nothing anymore.

I've probably told this to so many people before ; I can never remain friends with guys for we will always end up enemies or just not talk to each other anymore in the end. The feeling sucks though because I never intended for things to turn out that way. I want to be a nice person who's liked by everyone. Is it that hard to achieve? Why am I so imperfect? I bet not everyone is like me, or maybe I'm wrong. Whatever it is, this feeling just effing sucks. Why be enemies? Why not talk things out calmly? No, that just ain't possible. NOT AT ALL. It's like EVERY guy that I know will either end up treating me as their enemy, misunderstanding me or just ignoring me for the rest of my life. Trust me, I've experienced too many times.
- Danial Yusoff
- Syed Muhammad Ibrahim Al-Attas
- Zubair Bin Abdul Rahim
- Muhd Rasul
- Jeremy Goh
- Yusri Bin Abdul Rahman
- Ridhuan (kinda ah, depends sometimes)
- Hadi (same case as Ridhuan)
- "Nur Syafiqah" (HEHE, code name for someone <;)
- Nur Hazeem Bin Abdul Nasser

Hmm, I bet there's been slightly more than that but yeah, that's still a hella' lot. /sighs/
Maybe I should turn lesbian. HAHA. K, no. I'm just joking peeps.
Bye for now while I drown my sorrows in..... MANGO PUDDING :3